Well, I guess it's time to discuss the differences I saw in China vs Korea. For the past 2 months or so I've been trying to decide what to do when I'm finished here in Korea. I've thought about staying in Korea. I would move to Seoul and study the Korean language at a university, another option would be to move to Taiwan. Another, move to China, or I could just stay in America. I didn't really consider moving to Japan I'm afraid it will be too similar to Korea.
Right now the option I'm leaning towards the most is going to China. I've always been interested in Chinese history and it would be a good opportunity to learn a useful language.
Now, let's talk about the differences between Korea and China.
I find living in Korea to be extremely suffocating. By that I mean I can't be myself without feeling more like an alien than I already do. If I try to conform and act like a local I can't be myself and I feel very unhappy. To put it simply I don't like living here.
I'm struggling to write this because if I'm going to be totally honest I'm going to sound like I'm stereotyping an entire culture. So, let me put in the obligatory disclaimer:
Not all Koreans act this way, there are some who act completely different from what I'm about to say. (There done).
You can see it when you turn on the TV, it's all the same. The mannerisms, the body language, the facial expressions. There seems to be a very limited range of accepted ways to express yourself. While I do find it cute at times, it's really not something I can adapt into. No matter how much I want too, I could never really act like a Korean. And that means I will always be an alien. Being an alien is fine for a while, I lasted about 6 months before it really started to bug me. After some time it really starts to wear you down. For example, the accepted way to express embarrassment in public is to laugh. Now, while people in the west will sometimes deal with embarrassment in this manner, not everyone does it, and not all the time. Another example, do not show anger in public, especially at work. This is a big no no, do not get angry at work, ever. So, as you can see the range of acceptable self-expression is shrinking example by example. I will stop here.
I spent less than a week in China, but I spent almost the entire time with local Chinese and I spent a great deal of time studying my surroundings. I noticed the difference immediately upon my arrival in China. China is more like the west, you need to be careful. Korea is like a safe little fantasy land where nothing bad outside of work ever happens. In China people will do whatever they can to get your money.
Socially all you need to do is visit a restaurant to see the differences. My first night there I went to a restaurant and looking around I see people smiling and laughing but in ways that Koreans never would. It's hard to explain because I can't really describe the body language. But they weren't robots or statues, they didn't care what people thought about them, they were themselves. You don't need to wait for the eldest to start eating first, or if you are the youngest you don't need to hand chopsticks to your elders, none of that crap. I didn't feel like I was under a microscope all the time, I could actually be myself. I did get my share of hostile stares but thats common anywhere you travel.
I also found that in many ways living in China would be much more challenging. There are poor people everywhere, street kids (who will pick your pocket), and I found the general feel of the people to be more sad than here in Korea. I think thats one of the main reasons I want to live there, for the challenge. It feels like a real place, not a fantasy land.
To summarize in Korea I cannot be myself, in China I can. Living in China is a challenge, living in Korea is a break from reality.
I think I will move to China next.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
...and then Sun walked in
For the past two weeks whenever I'm outside walking I keep thinking I see this girl Sun I used to know. She had a magical laugh and the gentlest touch. Silky long black hair and beautiful eyes, she was perfect.
Today I was eating at some random Japanese/Korean fusion place for dinner, minding my own business when it happened. Sun walked in. Sun was the first and only girl I fell deeply in love with during my time here. She was perfect in my eyes. I haven't seen her in 5 months. One day she called me and told me she is too busy to hang out anymore, and that was that. I saw her a few times in school (she teaches math), but never outside of school until one day I heard she quit the school.
Turns out she quit the school for a couple months to just relax, but now she is back working at my school on the 3rd floor (I'm on the 5th). I hope I'll be able to see her a few more times before it's time for me to leave.
Today I was eating at some random Japanese/Korean fusion place for dinner, minding my own business when it happened. Sun walked in. Sun was the first and only girl I fell deeply in love with during my time here. She was perfect in my eyes. I haven't seen her in 5 months. One day she called me and told me she is too busy to hang out anymore, and that was that. I saw her a few times in school (she teaches math), but never outside of school until one day I heard she quit the school.
Turns out she quit the school for a couple months to just relax, but now she is back working at my school on the 3rd floor (I'm on the 5th). I hope I'll be able to see her a few more times before it's time for me to leave.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Shanghai part 8
I'm sick again. I lost count how many times I've been sick, maybe the 7th or 8th cold since I've been here.
Anyway, lets finish this story...
The night before H.L. had given me some locations to visit, and an estimate of how much it would cost to get there by taxi. So, off I went. My first location was Jingan Temple . I didn't take any photos inside the temple as it is an active temple and I didn't want to be rude. So, I just walked around and explored for a while.
After leaving the temple I walked around the area surrounding the temple and took these photos.
First video. This is the area around the temple, unfortunately for you I can't give you the full experience of being there.
The nearby park. You can hear the bugs in the trees making all their lovely noise.
I didn't put a lot of effort into this post as I really just want to finish this story and I have a cold so I'm not feeling well. I will be back shortly to talk about the differences I saw in China compared to Korea.
The End.
Anyway, lets finish this story...
The night before H.L. had given me some locations to visit, and an estimate of how much it would cost to get there by taxi. So, off I went. My first location was Jingan Temple . I didn't take any photos inside the temple as it is an active temple and I didn't want to be rude. So, I just walked around and explored for a while.
After leaving the temple I walked around the area surrounding the temple and took these photos.
First video. This is the area around the temple, unfortunately for you I can't give you the full experience of being there.
The nearby park. You can hear the bugs in the trees making all their lovely noise.
I didn't put a lot of effort into this post as I really just want to finish this story and I have a cold so I'm not feeling well. I will be back shortly to talk about the differences I saw in China compared to Korea.
The End.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Going away party, and Shanghai part 7
Before we continue with this story let me first talk about my co-worker S. S. was here about 2 months before I got here. He showed me around and introduced me to all kinds of people. I went to his going away party last night at a bar here in Suwon, a ton of people showed up it was kinda surprising. I didn't stay long because I had a cold but it was nice to see him one last time before his 2 month adventure in Thailand, Cambodia, and Vietnam.
Now that he is safely out of the country I think it's time to share a few stories about him. I will however, keep the juiciest stories to myself.
When I first met S. I liked him, then I didn't like him, then I liked him again. It's much like the country itself, first I liked it, then I didn't, then I did, and now I don't. Everything here comes in waves.
The event that caused me to stop hanging out with him on a regular basis was a going away party for a married couple that lived in our building. The party ended up being a mess and really was the turning point for me as far as Korea. One guy was standing in the hallway challenging a Korean man to a fist fight who was threatening to call the cops because the party was too loud. Simultaneously 10 feet away this nut case from South Africa was literally begging this poor girl from Canada to have sex with him. The nut case simply would NOT take no for an answer, and the girl was completely terrified of him. The funny thing is S. was completely cool this entire time, but it was through him that I met these other people so I lumped him in their group.
To his credit he has changed so much since I first met him. He isn't nearly as impulsive as he used to be. But I've always been afraid every time I go somewhere with him that he will end up hurting himself or getting arrested.
One time I got a frantic text message from him begging me to come to this bar down the street. I didn't go and I'm glad I didn't. When the night ended that crazy freaking guy from South Africa had convinced S. to strip completely naked (in the middle of winter) walk out onto a FROZEN LAKE and try to break the ice to go swimming.
There was however, one event within the last 2 months that changed my whole outlook on S. I'm afraid I cannot speak about that now as it involves another co-worker of mine. But needless to say after that I started to enjoy his company again.
As I was sitting there at the bar surrounded by more non-Koreans then I've seen in 10 months it hit me...I leave in 2 months, I'M SO EXCITED.
So long S. it was a great year, thank you for showing me around and remember what I told you at the bar last night "stay safe". (By the way S. doesn't read this, but I'm just so damn sentimental I had to write something).
Here is a picture of S. I took in November of last year. S. myself and a good Korean friend of ours were in Insadong at the time. This is my favorite photo I have taken so far in Korea.
So long buddy.
----------------------
And now, on with story.
H.L. and I ordered some food in the Italian restaurant and talked for a while. The restaurant was full of young people most of whom were just sitting there reading or sending text messages on their cellphones. H.L. explained to me that there really wasn't anywhere for them to go, it's super hot outside, no school, so most of them were just waiting for the hot part of the day to pass just like we were.
Anyway after we finished our food we started talking. Somehow we started talking about money and who would pay when we got side tracked to what had happened the night before with her friend CiCi and all hell broke lose. She started crying and talking about Ally and how I had asked to see her because I was lonely. Which really confused me considering we had already talked about this and agreed to be friends, shes very busy with University and I'm leaving Korea in 2 months where she is a University student. I was feeling like a complete jerk the entire time, and I really didn't know what to do with this girl. I think all the beggers and getting ripped off by the taxi driver and getting all this attention from women because of money boiled over and I started to get really pissed at her. I said some pretty bad things and she just cried some more. Mean while one of the waitresses keeps giving me shy smiles and giggles which was extremely distracting. She eventually stopped when the crying got too loud which I was thankful for.
After a while (I'm not sure how long) we managed to resolve the issue. But we were still pretty upset. We finally left and decided to go to a huge bookstore down the street. It had like 15 floors of books.
I parked myself in the English section and started to read while H.L. wandered off to find some books. We spent another hour there most of the time separated from each other.
By now it was getting dark so we headed back to The Bund but on the opposite river bank from the previous night with CiCi. Here are the photos.
After taking pictures we headed off to Nanjing road. Nanjing road reminded me of Korea really. A big street with no cars (for part of the street) lots of neon signs and lots of people. Here are the pictures.
This is actually like a typical street in Korea, except I think I prefer the ones in Korea. They have more neon and I can actually read Korean.
This is where Superman goes shopping.
After walking around we headed back home on the subway. The next day's plan was for me to spend an entire day in Shanghai solo...which will probably be the most boring post but I have 2 short videos.
End part 7 (one more to go).
Now that he is safely out of the country I think it's time to share a few stories about him. I will however, keep the juiciest stories to myself.
When I first met S. I liked him, then I didn't like him, then I liked him again. It's much like the country itself, first I liked it, then I didn't, then I did, and now I don't. Everything here comes in waves.
The event that caused me to stop hanging out with him on a regular basis was a going away party for a married couple that lived in our building. The party ended up being a mess and really was the turning point for me as far as Korea. One guy was standing in the hallway challenging a Korean man to a fist fight who was threatening to call the cops because the party was too loud. Simultaneously 10 feet away this nut case from South Africa was literally begging this poor girl from Canada to have sex with him. The nut case simply would NOT take no for an answer, and the girl was completely terrified of him. The funny thing is S. was completely cool this entire time, but it was through him that I met these other people so I lumped him in their group.
To his credit he has changed so much since I first met him. He isn't nearly as impulsive as he used to be. But I've always been afraid every time I go somewhere with him that he will end up hurting himself or getting arrested.
One time I got a frantic text message from him begging me to come to this bar down the street. I didn't go and I'm glad I didn't. When the night ended that crazy freaking guy from South Africa had convinced S. to strip completely naked (in the middle of winter) walk out onto a FROZEN LAKE and try to break the ice to go swimming.
There was however, one event within the last 2 months that changed my whole outlook on S. I'm afraid I cannot speak about that now as it involves another co-worker of mine. But needless to say after that I started to enjoy his company again.
As I was sitting there at the bar surrounded by more non-Koreans then I've seen in 10 months it hit me...I leave in 2 months, I'M SO EXCITED.
So long S. it was a great year, thank you for showing me around and remember what I told you at the bar last night "stay safe". (By the way S. doesn't read this, but I'm just so damn sentimental I had to write something).
Here is a picture of S. I took in November of last year. S. myself and a good Korean friend of ours were in Insadong at the time. This is my favorite photo I have taken so far in Korea.
So long buddy.
----------------------
And now, on with story.
H.L. and I ordered some food in the Italian restaurant and talked for a while. The restaurant was full of young people most of whom were just sitting there reading or sending text messages on their cellphones. H.L. explained to me that there really wasn't anywhere for them to go, it's super hot outside, no school, so most of them were just waiting for the hot part of the day to pass just like we were.
Anyway after we finished our food we started talking. Somehow we started talking about money and who would pay when we got side tracked to what had happened the night before with her friend CiCi and all hell broke lose. She started crying and talking about Ally and how I had asked to see her because I was lonely. Which really confused me considering we had already talked about this and agreed to be friends, shes very busy with University and I'm leaving Korea in 2 months where she is a University student. I was feeling like a complete jerk the entire time, and I really didn't know what to do with this girl. I think all the beggers and getting ripped off by the taxi driver and getting all this attention from women because of money boiled over and I started to get really pissed at her. I said some pretty bad things and she just cried some more. Mean while one of the waitresses keeps giving me shy smiles and giggles which was extremely distracting. She eventually stopped when the crying got too loud which I was thankful for.
After a while (I'm not sure how long) we managed to resolve the issue. But we were still pretty upset. We finally left and decided to go to a huge bookstore down the street. It had like 15 floors of books.
I parked myself in the English section and started to read while H.L. wandered off to find some books. We spent another hour there most of the time separated from each other.
By now it was getting dark so we headed back to The Bund but on the opposite river bank from the previous night with CiCi. Here are the photos.
After taking pictures we headed off to Nanjing road. Nanjing road reminded me of Korea really. A big street with no cars (for part of the street) lots of neon signs and lots of people. Here are the pictures.
This is actually like a typical street in Korea, except I think I prefer the ones in Korea. They have more neon and I can actually read Korean.
This is where Superman goes shopping.
After walking around we headed back home on the subway. The next day's plan was for me to spend an entire day in Shanghai solo...which will probably be the most boring post but I have 2 short videos.
End part 7 (one more to go).
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Shanghai part 6
The next day I met H.L. outside my hotel at about 11am. This day was the hottest so far. We caught a bus and headed to the Shanghai Museum. I could already tell that H.L. was still very upset about what had happened the night before as she was barely speaking to me. I did my best to cheer her up and lighten the mood. When we got to the museum she informed me she didn't want to go inside, instead she wanted to go shopping by herself.
"I will meet you back here in 4 hours", she said.
"But it's only going to take about 2 hours to see everything in the Museum, I really don't want to wait here for 4 hours". What is with her and waiting?
We got into another argument involving money (this was one of the biggest turn offs for me, she always talks about money). Finally after 15 minutes of arguing (I'm not exaggerating) she agreed to go with me to the museum.
When we got there we had just started looking at some Bronze pieces from the Shang and Zhou Dynasties when she informed me she would sit on a bench and wait for me. She was still upset and obviously didn't really want to be my guide anymore. So, for an hour and a half I ended up wandering the Museum and taking photos. My favorite part was the exhibit on official seals of the different dynasties. There were also exhibits on painting, furniture, money, and more.
And the view outside the Museum.
After leaving the museum we went to another shopping area to look for cheap gifts for our friends. We then headed to the other side of The Bund but it was still light out so I didn't bother taking any pictures. H.L. knew of a great Italian restaurant so we headed there to eat and pass away the hottest part of the day. And this is where all the frustration we both had boiled over into anger and tears.
End part 6.
"I will meet you back here in 4 hours", she said.
"But it's only going to take about 2 hours to see everything in the Museum, I really don't want to wait here for 4 hours". What is with her and waiting?
We got into another argument involving money (this was one of the biggest turn offs for me, she always talks about money). Finally after 15 minutes of arguing (I'm not exaggerating) she agreed to go with me to the museum.
When we got there we had just started looking at some Bronze pieces from the Shang and Zhou Dynasties when she informed me she would sit on a bench and wait for me. She was still upset and obviously didn't really want to be my guide anymore. So, for an hour and a half I ended up wandering the Museum and taking photos. My favorite part was the exhibit on official seals of the different dynasties. There were also exhibits on painting, furniture, money, and more.
And the view outside the Museum.
After leaving the museum we went to another shopping area to look for cheap gifts for our friends. We then headed to the other side of The Bund but it was still light out so I didn't bother taking any pictures. H.L. knew of a great Italian restaurant so we headed there to eat and pass away the hottest part of the day. And this is where all the frustration we both had boiled over into anger and tears.
End part 6.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Shanghai part 5
After leaving the garden we went to an underground shopping area near a subway station. This is where things start to go bad. By now the sting of paying too much for a taxi is starting to take its toll and my mood turns foul. I start to lose interest in my surroundings and I brood on what transpired the night before. H.L. takes note of my mood and tries her best to cheer me up. As we are walking around the shopping area an idea comes into my head. "Boy I sure would like to see Ally again", I think to myself. Maybe I can convince H.L. to give her a call and the three of us can hang out later tonight, that would cheer me up. H.L. wouldn't mind, right? Wrong. At first she seems fine with the idea and we start looking for a pay phone, after talking to Ally for 5 minutes she turns to me and tells me Ally will meet me at 7pm at the Aquarium. "Well, what about you?" I ask.
"I won't be going", she says.
"Why not, Ally barely speaks English I thought the three of us could hang out again like last night".
Now, let me explain that I didn't have the best intentions when it came to Ally BUT, they weren't as bad as you think either. I just wanted to get to know her better. After all I might be moving to China in a few months and it would be great to have a friend when I got there. H.L. wasn't buying it.
"I don't want to go, you two go by yourselves, she'll meet you at 7pm."
"OK, but it's only 1pm, what am I supposed to do until then?"
"Just wait for her by yourself."
(*gulp* I'm in deep now).
"Well, 7pm is too late, can she meet US earlier?"
"No, she works today, she can meet YOU at 7pm."
"Well I don't want to sit there waiting for her for 6 hours by myself, tell her it's too late".
"But I want to go shopping by myself, go and wait for her".
(*sigh* You won ok? Just let it go).
"Ok, I'm not going to wait for her for 6 hours, let's go do some more shopping get some food and talk for a bit ok?"
"Ok, I have another friend CiCi that we can meet, she is one of my best friends. I'll call her".
"Ok, cool".
And that was that. We did some shopping, walked around, and took some photos. (Story continues below).
Why are any and less capitalized? China has the same problems with English that Korea does. I think it's cute, H.L. thought it was embarrassing. She tried to cover my camera but I managed to get the shot anyway.
We did a little grocery shopping comparing prices for items in China, with Korea and America. China always won the price war. I bought some iced coffee which turned out to be a mistake. I ended up spilling it on my white shirt. I went to the bathroom to try to clean it off but it was still noticeable. So much for impressing H.L.'s friend CiCi. This turned my mood even darker, by now I was barely speaking to H.L.
We met CiCi a few hours later and she turned out to be very good at English and incredibly sweet. It was however, too late to change my mood, my mind was made up at this point I really hated this trip. I tried my best to converse with CiCi but it seemed H.L. was doing her best to keep the conversation in Chinese and keep me out of it. I finally managed to get in the conversation but I was unable to avoid the 3-T's trap. As a visitor in China it's wise to avoid the topic of the 3-T's, Taiwan, Tibet, and Tiananmen. After just a few minutes I was in way over my head with both of them teaming up on me (do NOT talk politics in China). I did the only thing I could. I gave up the argument and the conversation stopped. By now H.L. was absolutely furious with me and refused to change the conversation back to English. I was also pretty mad. I asked them if they were going to pay for themselves as I sure as hell wasn't going to be anyone's sugar daddy. They agreed to go Dutch but H.L. was absolutely livid. I sat quietly and ate my food. I won't be asking to see CiCi again thats for sure.
After eating they did some more shopping and then we headed to The Bund for some pictures. As we were walking CiCi turned to me and asked me if I would wait here while they go and get some drinks. I figured they just didn't want to be anywhere near me and prepared myself for being abandoned. I had the address to my hotel so I wasn't too worried, just really upset. After what seemed like an eternity they came back and offered me some coffee. They apologized for the argument earlier and told me they were my friends and the coffee is a gift (a small gift of coffee from someone in a 3rd world country means more than a brand new car). Somehow I managed to spill the coffee for the 2nd time that day. I felt terrible and offered to pay them back but they refused. We walked around and took some pictures.
After spilling the coffee the flood gates opened and I started talking about my bad day. They listened patiently and offered advice and encouragement. I started to feel much better. A little bit later we decided to call it a night and left The Bund. I bid farewell to CiCi, apologizing for my behavior and wishing her a good night. H.L. and I took the subway home barely speaking to each other.
End part 5.
"I won't be going", she says.
"Why not, Ally barely speaks English I thought the three of us could hang out again like last night".
Now, let me explain that I didn't have the best intentions when it came to Ally BUT, they weren't as bad as you think either. I just wanted to get to know her better. After all I might be moving to China in a few months and it would be great to have a friend when I got there. H.L. wasn't buying it.
"I don't want to go, you two go by yourselves, she'll meet you at 7pm."
"OK, but it's only 1pm, what am I supposed to do until then?"
"Just wait for her by yourself."
(*gulp* I'm in deep now).
"Well, 7pm is too late, can she meet US earlier?"
"No, she works today, she can meet YOU at 7pm."
"Well I don't want to sit there waiting for her for 6 hours by myself, tell her it's too late".
"But I want to go shopping by myself, go and wait for her".
(*sigh* You won ok? Just let it go).
"Ok, I'm not going to wait for her for 6 hours, let's go do some more shopping get some food and talk for a bit ok?"
"Ok, I have another friend CiCi that we can meet, she is one of my best friends. I'll call her".
"Ok, cool".
And that was that. We did some shopping, walked around, and took some photos. (Story continues below).
Why are any and less capitalized? China has the same problems with English that Korea does. I think it's cute, H.L. thought it was embarrassing. She tried to cover my camera but I managed to get the shot anyway.
We did a little grocery shopping comparing prices for items in China, with Korea and America. China always won the price war. I bought some iced coffee which turned out to be a mistake. I ended up spilling it on my white shirt. I went to the bathroom to try to clean it off but it was still noticeable. So much for impressing H.L.'s friend CiCi. This turned my mood even darker, by now I was barely speaking to H.L.
We met CiCi a few hours later and she turned out to be very good at English and incredibly sweet. It was however, too late to change my mood, my mind was made up at this point I really hated this trip. I tried my best to converse with CiCi but it seemed H.L. was doing her best to keep the conversation in Chinese and keep me out of it. I finally managed to get in the conversation but I was unable to avoid the 3-T's trap. As a visitor in China it's wise to avoid the topic of the 3-T's, Taiwan, Tibet, and Tiananmen. After just a few minutes I was in way over my head with both of them teaming up on me (do NOT talk politics in China). I did the only thing I could. I gave up the argument and the conversation stopped. By now H.L. was absolutely furious with me and refused to change the conversation back to English. I was also pretty mad. I asked them if they were going to pay for themselves as I sure as hell wasn't going to be anyone's sugar daddy. They agreed to go Dutch but H.L. was absolutely livid. I sat quietly and ate my food. I won't be asking to see CiCi again thats for sure.
After eating they did some more shopping and then we headed to The Bund for some pictures. As we were walking CiCi turned to me and asked me if I would wait here while they go and get some drinks. I figured they just didn't want to be anywhere near me and prepared myself for being abandoned. I had the address to my hotel so I wasn't too worried, just really upset. After what seemed like an eternity they came back and offered me some coffee. They apologized for the argument earlier and told me they were my friends and the coffee is a gift (a small gift of coffee from someone in a 3rd world country means more than a brand new car). Somehow I managed to spill the coffee for the 2nd time that day. I felt terrible and offered to pay them back but they refused. We walked around and took some pictures.
After spilling the coffee the flood gates opened and I started talking about my bad day. They listened patiently and offered advice and encouragement. I started to feel much better. A little bit later we decided to call it a night and left The Bund. I bid farewell to CiCi, apologizing for my behavior and wishing her a good night. H.L. and I took the subway home barely speaking to each other.
End part 5.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Shanghai Part 4
After wandering around the touristy place for a while we found the entrance to the garden. Being a local H.L. never really had the chance to visit any tourist sites, they are generally priced for the rich tourists and she had more important things to worry about than visiting some garden. As far as I could tell, she was the only Chinese person there. I saw many Europeans, some Japanese, and even a couple Korean girls, this was her first time in the garden.
*waves*
This picture is for Josh.
Well, that's it for the garden photos. I will post part 1 of the bund photos, and the museum photos tomorrow. When I am all finished I shall post my thoughts on the differences between Chinese and Korean culture from a foreigner's perspective.
*waves*
This picture is for Josh.
Well, that's it for the garden photos. I will post part 1 of the bund photos, and the museum photos tomorrow. When I am all finished I shall post my thoughts on the differences between Chinese and Korean culture from a foreigner's perspective.
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