Best date of my life

Here we go with the personal crap again, anyway...

I'm having trouble falling asleep tonight. The problem is that today I had the best date of my entire life. Yesterday I made plans to meet with my Korean female friend (notice I didn't use the words Korean girlfriend), it was planned as a group date. She is still very shy about her English so I always make sure to bring a Korean friend along to make her feel more comfortable. Last night I asked my best Korean friend to come hang out with us and he said he would, the 3 of us were to meet in the lobby of my building at 1:30pm (we all work in this building, but I'm the only one who lives in this building). Anyway, this afternoon I went down to the lobby to wait for my friends. I met the girl I'm dating, but my other friend curiously didn't show up. We tried calling him but he didn't answer. I had a feeling this would happen sooner or later. See, he's been acting as the go between for us. He speaks good English and Korean, so we rely on him to communicate sometimes. But I had a feeling he wanted to start cutting the bond, and I'm so glad he did.

After about 5 minutes of waiting we decided to go grab some food. We went to this place known as "the crazy ladies restaurant" (don't ask). Anyway, we sit down by the window and she looks at me and says "uh oh", I ask what's wrong? The sun is in your eyes she tells me. I tear my eyes away from her beauty and notice that the sun is in my eyes. The sun is not only in my eyes but I'm actually squinting quite a bit. I didn't even notice I was so focused on her. We moved to another seat with less sunlight and she asks me if I can read the menu. I tried to impress her with my Korean reading ability but I was so nervous all I could read was the order of "mandu". Anyway, we had such a great time, she was trying so hard to practice her English. We even practiced my Korean a little bit. She was so happy that I could tell her the days of the week in Korean. She taught me that in Korea the first meal of the day usually consists of rice (I had ordered noodles). She then went on to tell me she wants to teach me so much but her English just isn't good enough. We made plans to study English and Korean together soon. After eating we went to dunkin donuts for coffee and donuts. We had so much fun, it was almost time for us to go back to work but she confessed she didn't want to go back to work. As we were walking back we ran into another teacher in our school which made for an awkward situation. Koreans are very conservative on the outside, and it was a little embarrassing for another teacher to see us together. I didn't really care but I could tell she was embarrassed because she got shy again.

This was by far the best date I've ever had. Our conversation was limited, but the substance of the date was humongous. She's such a generous and kind person. I did my absolute best to return the kindness and generosity. I hope I succeeded.

Free Hugs in KOREA

Couple months ago while I was in insadong I came across the free hug movement, here is a video about it.

Why did you come here?

Why did you come here is my least favorite question. I have been asked this question multiple times in one day, multiple times in one conversation, multiple times by the same person. It's complicated is my standard reply. It's always complicated they usually say. You have a degree in Computer Science, you used to work for America Online a big company, why come to Korea? How am I supposed to explain to them that I wasn't happy working at a big company in America. How am I supposed to explain to them that the dream they have of living in a western country has no value for me. I usually try to tell them that I wanted to travel, to see the world, to learn another language, to learn another culture. This answer doesn't always satisfy them. I used to work for a big company in America, why would I ever give that up? This decision of mine did not happen over night. When I first graduated university I knew all about teaching in Korea, it was fun to dream about but I had no intention of actually doing it myself. After all I had just worked my butt off getting my degree and why should I just throw it away. Well, 2 and a half years in corporate america changed my mind. It was the same routine every day. Wake up, work, go home. That is just not enough for me. I want more. That is why I am here. I have really good days here, and I have really bad days here, but each day is unique. I believe it's more important to enjoy your life than to always worry about the future. If your mind is stuck in the future how can you enjoy the present? You can't, you can't enjoy the present. Screw that.

Yongsan

This past Saturday I went to Yongsan Electronics Market. This place has everything you could possibly want as far as computers, cameras, video cameras, pirated dvds, game consoles, mp3 players, dvd players, its a great place to find cheap electronics. I bought a used xbox with some games which cost me more then I'd like to admit. I didn't want to get the xbox 360 yet but I really needed something besides my Nintendo DS. I'll need to make another trip there to pick up some speakers and a wireless router.

Sunday I went over to a friends apartment to fix her computer. I met her at some random party and we get along pretty well. She was hanging out with her other friend whom I also know from some random party. I managed to fix her computer then we went to a Korean restaurant where I had my favorite Korean food, Mandu. The three of us agreed to make plans to hang out again soon. Then I jumped on a bus headed back to Suwon Station, took the subway to Hwaseo Station and walked home from there.

I had some trouble finding her place. She lives in Yeong Tong which is on the other side of Suwon and I have only been there once. I could have taken a taxi but I wanted to get used to the bus system. I got on the correct bus, but it was headed in the wrong direction. I ended up at some bus depot at the edge of Suwon. I could tell the bus driver was a little confused and when I said Yeong Tong he laughed and said "No...*korean words here*". He told me to wait 5 minutes while the bus got an oil change. A minute later he came back on the bus and said "Man...follow me". I followed him, he pointed to another bus with exactly the same number and said Yeong Tong. I got on that bus and ended up in the correct area. I told this story to my friends and they both said that has never happened to them before. I was at the correct bus stop and got on the correct bus but for some reason it went in the wrong direction and know one could tell me why. Lesson learned: Always ask the bus driver if the bus is going to your destination, and hope that he understands your terrible western accent.

Oh, one more thing before the pictures of Yongsan. I told my friends in Yeong Tong that I've started dating a Korean girl and that it was very difficult because of the language and cultural differences. I said to them I think it's very difficult for western women over here because of the poor dating pool. I mentioned that western women don't really like to date Korean men and they told me it was because women like men who speak the same "language" as them. Now this might seem trivial to you, but it really struck a cord with me. I don't think men really put communication at the top of the relationship priority list. The girl I'm "dating" really struggles with English and I often have to use small words and speak slowly, but I'll be damned if thats going to stop me from dating her. I figure with enough time her english will get better. I can be patient, I mean what else do I have to do?

Anyway,

I often wonder if I should post stuff like this because for one it's very personal, and two I have to be very careful so I don't come across as being a "bad" person. If you knew the guys I hang out with you'd understand why I'm trying very hard to give a good impression of westerners. However, I want to be as honest as possible about my experiences over here, it's a delicate balance.

Now, let me explain why I put "dating" in quotes. We've just started having dinner together during our breaks at school. She knows I like her but we're just barely starting to get to know each other better. I put "dating" in quotes because its so early in the get to know each other phase. So we'll see what happens. Also, being a very humble person I don't like to read more into a situation, I always try to downplay things. Gah, which brings up another topic that I will save for later. I ALWAYS feel guilty when Koreans tell me "America so big and strong". Or "America is so rich". I always try to downplay it.

Anyway, pictures of Yongsan, enjoy!!!

Internet

Finally got an internet connection in my apartment. I asked my Korean friend to call them and he did. Turns out the operator speaks very good english so I was able to do the rest. The technician came the very next day and hooked everything up. The connection is EXTREMELY fast. However, even though it tested at about 25Mb/s the test server was here in Korea. Using test servers in the states I only get about 3.5Mb/s. Still, its the internet so I'm happy.

I talked to a friend from college while we played an online game for a while today. I was telling him all the stories that I can't post here. Some of them are just too complicated to write about, and some of them aren't appropriate. I'd really like to start podcasting but I might wait for a while. I have so many interesting stories but I need to be careful that the people involved don't read them so they don't become upset or get in trouble etc. Another reason I want to get into podcasting is because it's just easier to talk about a story, rather than write about it. Its like when they make books into movies, so much is left out. Well when I write about my stories so much is left out, but when I talk about it I can usually tell the story better.

I have some pictures that I took one day when I was walking to HomePlus. I will probably post them soon and take you on a short 15 minute walk there.

Another idea I have but haven't gotten around too is taking pictures of konglish writing I see.

This weekend I'm going back to Yongsan Electronics Market. I will do my best to take pictures and document the journey. I intend to get myself an xbox and some games. I was thinking about getting the 360 but I'm probably going to hold off on that for a while. Sunday I'm hanging out with a friend from England, she wants me to fix her computer than we'll go see a movie or dinner or something.

I have many things planned for this blog. Now that I have a reliable internet connection I might get around to doing it. I just have so much going on that I haven't been able to devote the time needed to really polish this thing.

My school is growing really fast. We now have classrooms on the 3rd, 4th and 5th floors of our building. Our english department will be on the 5th floor starting the 16th. I was up there the other day and its all brand new, very posh. I'm starting to feel bad for the Koreans I work with, they don't make as much money as I do and they are treated a little worse. I'm pretty much treated like an untouchable, they don't make me do any extra work or anything. While the Koreans have to do office work and all kinds of extra stuff, makes me uncomfortable.

Anyway, thats it for now.

Birthday part 2, and dating

So much for the break I was going to take. Anyway, this post is going to get a little personal and complicated. After you read this post you’ll probably realize why I stopped posting, my life is getting complicated!

For my birthday I decided I really didn’t want to tell anyone or celebrate. A few people knew and I got a few gifts. After work I went up to my room and started reading. Around 11 o’clock at night I got a call from a Korean friend/co-worker and he asked me if I wanted to go to a party in 30 minutes for our schools anniversary. I said yes I would like to go. He then proceeded to ask me why I didn’t tell him it was my birthday and I had to explain to him I didn’t like to celebrate. I went down to the school and hung out until it was time to leave. All the schools teachers (there are maybe 20 or 25) went to a traditional Korean restaurant and ate. By now everyone knew it was my birthday and people were coming up to me wishing me a happy birthday. Around 2am we got up to leave the restaurant.

This is where things get a little complicated. As we were leaving a woman, I shall refer to as woman A, came up behind me and started leaning against me as we were walking. Now I don’t care what culture you are from, if a woman leans up against you to stay warm it sends certain signals. By this point I was very drunk and I have a feeling she was pretty drunk as well. Ahead of us woman B was walking (she has also shown some interest in me but I’ve been told she changes her mind constantly so I decided to just leave her alone). Anyway, all of a sudden the best friend of woman B grabs woman A gently by the arm and starts talking to her. I turn around to see if woman A is going to come back, when woman B touches my arm and whispers to me “Follow me”. I asked her where we were going and she replies “Too drink”. Who am I to turn her down? We followed a group of about 6 or 7 other Koreans (including the school’s president) into a bar and sat down. Woman B comes to sit next to me but unfortunately there was no seat to my right, and the seat to my left was already taken. As soon as she sees this she sits next to the person on the other end of the table. Woman A walks into the bar about a minute later and walks right up to sit next to me but realizes there is no chair. So she ends up sitting next to woman B. Another teacher comes in this time male, and pulls up a chair beside me. We talked and drank until 5am at which point we all went home. It was obvious to me that both woman A and woman B wanted to spend some time with me. What isn’t obvious are their intentions.

Anyway,

Dating here is extremely confusing for me. I thought a while ago that woman B really liked me. I asked her out to dinner and she said yes. The day we were to eat dinner she changed her mind and said no. She is very friendly to me when we go out with the bosses of the school, but isn’t so when we are alone. I get the feeling that she might just be using me as a status symbol, maybe to better contract negotiations when her contract is finished. However, this analysis of mine could be false and maybe she is just trying to help me through a difficult situation.

Woman A is extremely beautiful, and very sweet. Even though she is an English teacher, her English isn’t nearly as good as woman B’s which would make any sort of relationship difficult. I’ve also been told by my Korean friend that she uses the normal form of Korean with him, not the polite form like she should, which is a little rude. Her nickname is “Ice Princess” because she looks a little cold. In Korea when you call a woman “Princess” it’s actually a very good thing, no negative connotations like in the west.

Anyway, last Friday I went to dinner with my boss, and 4 other male teachers. I’ve had my eye on another female teacher (woman C) we work with but she teaches math and I don’t know how good her English is. My friend told me he would introduce us when he got the chance. Well that chance came last Friday when we were walking down the stairs. She was walking right behind us and my friend kind of turns in her direction and points at her. At which point I nodded letting him know that’s her. This is all in full view of her mind you. All of a sudden he turns around and starts talking to her in Korean. I’m thinking “oh great what in the world is he telling her”. She starts smiling and covering her face with her hand (very common when Korean’s are embarrassed). After about a minute they finish talking and she goes on her way. My friend tells me she would like to go to dinner with me next week. We finish walking down the stairs and enter the restaurant where my boss and the other male teachers are waiting. After some chitchat (mostly in Korean) the teacher next to me asks if I’m looking for a girlfriend, I replied “Yes I am”. He smiles at me, nods and says “Ah ok, I will help you look”. Wonderful I think, now I have two male Korean teachers who are going to introduce me to every woman who speaks a little English, *sigh*.

I actually just got back from dinner with woman C and things went well. There were 5 of us this time, myself woman C, woman C’s friend, my best Korean friend/co-worker and the other waygooken teacher I work with from Canada. I found out that woman C doesn’t speak English too well. She’s a little shy, but extremely sweet. I’m really not sure what to do but I’ll just take my time and slowly figure things out.

I think dating over here is very difficult. I have to be careful that I don’t misinterpret any signals, or give off the wrong signals. I have to be careful which words I use as they might not know what the words mean. As difficult as it is I think it’s worth it. I think I’d rather learn about the Korean culture with someone I’m very close too, rather than just friends. Oh well, we shall see what happens.