One year ago today...

One year ago today, a person I have never met, nor even sent an email too, ended his life in Beijing China. This person is the reason I'm living in Korea today. When I was a University student I knew when I graduated it would be tough to find a job, America was in a recession at the time. I started looking at other things I could do, the only idea that came into my head was travel. I started reading people's blogs and eventually came across the Korea Life Blog. The blog was funny and informative, full of pictures and was updated every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I quickly became a daily reader and started thinking about teaching ESL myself. Well here I am.

There are a couple things I really liked about Shawn's blog. The first is that he updated almost every single day. I knew without a doubt that there would be something new to read every time I checked his blog. The second thing is that he always had a positive humorous way of writing about the most difficult situations. He kept his writing positive even when he was having a rough time. Third, he wrote in a personal way, he gave details about his life that I would never do. Finally, a lot of his posts were written in story format. He would have characters, and pictures, and I often felt like I was reading a book.

Shawn eventually wrote a book about his time in Korea. You can buy it here. He was a very talented writer.

He eventually moved to China after living in Korea for 5 years. He ended his life one year ago today. Someone archived Shawn's China life blog, you can read it here. Even though Shawn's Korea life blog has been deleted, through the magic of the internet you can still read it here.

I've been here 7 months now, I've had good times and bad. I've seen things, learned things, and met people that have already changed my life forever. My world view has been expanded. I now realize just how big the world is. I'm still struggling as a blogger, I can't seem to find a good format. I don't think I would be able to emulate Shawn's format, he was just too talented a writer. I've thought about only focusing on Korean culture, maybe food or history, but thats already been done. The only unique thing I can offer is my experience in Korea. So I will write about that, the good and bad, the negative and the positive. I will try to write honestly so I don't give anyone false impressions that this place is paradise. Most importantly, I will try to update every day, even if it's just a couple pictures or sentences.

Well, I never knew you Shawn, but thanks for everything man.

Finally figured it out

Funny how you learn new lessons in life. I really wonder if I would have ever figured this one out if I never came here.

It's not about how good you are at your job, or what you look like, or anything else, it's how you make people feel, period.

First day at work with my new strategy worked very well. I was all smiles, talked to the boss, made sure to wish him a good weekend, and he was happier than I've seen him in a long time. It's not about how much the kids love me. It's about paying my respects to "the man".... and let me tell you it's not easy for me, because I have a serious thing against "the man". Some people call it a "problem with authority" some people simply call it "rebellion" but I call it "self-respect". Lets see if my new strategy works for the next 5 months.

So I've decided on what to do...

I'm just going to play nice, not worth the hassle. I figured it out last night, my kids love me, the other teachers love me, but I never pay attention to the boss. Face/honor is very important here, by not paying much attention to the boss he loses face/honor. I know what he's been telling me is BS, he's used the same lines with other teachers, they are just better at ass kissing. Guess it's time to learn a new skill.

Work situation continued...

Went out drinking with one of my co-workers last night after work. We talked about my situation and he gave me some advice. Basically he said that it's all just a game, he suggested I just tell my boss what he wants to hear. But frankly I don't care. If I get fired it just means I can find a better job in a better location where I don't have to work on Saturday. The whole hypocrisy thing just really pisses me off though. My boss keeps telling me I can't control my classes, when my classes are completely silent so he obviously is lying. When I have a noisy class I am always able to discipline them and quiet them down. However, whenever I do that he tells me I can't discipline the kids, I can't make them stand outside the classroom for 5 minutes, I can't make them stand in the corner, all I can do is write down their names and tell a Korean teacher. However, all the other foreign teachers can discipline their kids anyway they want.

I think that basically the boss just wants control. I'm really the only foreign teacher who doesn't kiss his ass. I'm just not an ass kisser, if you're a good person I will respect you very much, but it's something you need to earn. I don't care about your title or how much money you have or how anyone else treats you.

Oh, I found out why he asked for our diplomas last week. Our boss (a male) has been making sexual advances on the eldest and newest foreign teacher here. Last week he sent a text message to him asking if he could come upstairs to his room. The next day he asks for our diplomas as a cover incase the teacher (who told me this last night) asked about the text message. I learned this last night as we both spilled the beans on everything thats been happening lately.

I'll tell you what, I knew kind of what to expect when I got here. I've heard and read about some really crazy stuff that happens, but I really never expected to be living through something this strange. I guess it's all part of the adventure, and it's definitely been an eye opener. I just hope I don't end up thinking this was all a mistake when my adventure is finally over.

Work situation

So I asked for my diploma back, which made my boss very nervous, he is going to make me wait until next week for it. Another teacher was made the supervisor of the foreign teachers, which I think is a desperate attempt to not have all of us leave at the same time.

I'm starting to wonder if I want to stay here another year or just leave.

What to do...

Just found out my slimy boss didn't enroll us in the national health insurance plan, which is required by law, and is stated on my contract. I have a feeling he hasn't been paying into our pension plan as required by law until very recently when he asked us to sign a form for the pension plan. The question is, do I tell my co-worker who was told he'd have to pay $500 a month for insurance. We only have to pay about $50 bucks a month for it. Hmm, what should I do...

Cold

So I'm working on my 4th cold since moving here, my yearly average is 1 and I've only been here 7 months.

My boss is a slimy bastard, but he's so subtle about it, which makes it extremely infuriating. He asked for my original diploma one week before threatening to fire me, a common control tactic, I gave him a notarized copy since I have like 5 of them. My other co-worker just lied to him and said he mailed his home. I don't have problems with pay, but his motivation tactics to make us work harder really tear down our self-esteem. I didn't realize it until a new teacher came here and he went through the exact same stuff. I think it's time to start taking inventory of my things, and preparing for all eventualities, such as how to get to the airport, immigration office and how to send my money back home.

asdf

Besides work my life here has been pretty good. I've been busy these past couple of weekends since the weather is much better. Went with a friend to Itaewon to have a western meal, then headed to Insadong area to walk around. There are definitely advantages to hanging out with the locals.

Anyway, today I was actually threatened with being fired. I looked at my boss and said "ok", he paused a moment and said "if you agree to the terms you can keep working here". I didn't answer him as I tried to think where I should work after being fired. Realizing he had over played his hand he tried another tactic, "you only have 5 months left on the contract, I think you can endure it"..."just endure it". Again I didn't answer. He repeated again that I only have 5 months left, I can endure it. Persuaded by the fact that by my very nature I'm lazy, I agreed to stay. Now let me qualify this by saying the blame for this incident isn't completely on him, I did make a mistake. I am not completely blameless in this incident. However, what I find amusing is that if I was a Korean teacher it wouldn't have been a problem at all. Being a foreigner I am under a constant microscope and the smallest thing is blown out of proportion. One of my co-workers has it worse though, almost everything he does our boss tells him to stop, they really try to beat his personality out of him. Kinda messed up. I can't wait till my contract is finished.

Vacation days

These past 2 weeks I've been working about 3hrs a day. This happens every time our middle school students prepare for tests. From April 26 until April 29 my boss gave me a vacation. One of my co-workers took the opportunity to visit Japan, he went to Tokyo and Osaka. I stayed here and went to the Korean Folk Village with a friend on Thursday, and Saturday we went to 여의도 (Yeouido Park). The Korean Folk Village was interesting but it was jam packed with kids, it must have been kids day or something. I have never ever seen so many kids all in the same place before. I think we picked a bad day to go, but neither one of us knew so many kids would be there. We had a really good time though. Here are some pics.

Look at all these kids!!!




A traditional wedding.


Temple.


Inside the temple.


Seesaw Traditional Korean style.

Coffee, lunch, and rain

Met a friend the other day for coffee and lunch. First we went to Dunkin Donuts and had coffee. While we were there it started to rain, I didn't bring an umbrella or a jacket. She didn't have an umbrella either so we both got a little wet as we ran to the little kimbap shop. Feels a little strange writing about this as I admitted to her that I have a blog, and gave her the address. She is the first person in Korea that I have given my blog address too. I prefer to keep it private.

For the next two weeks I'm only teaching elementary students, so I'll be working about 3 hrs each day for the same pay. Life is good.

Mondays suck

The worst thing about monday is when you have a really good weekend. A good weekend always makes monday seem really bad. I'm in between classes right now, my boss was just grilling one of my co-workers for giving too much study time. At least he could have done it in private. I've had these talks before and they really piss me off. I was getting pretty angry even though he wasn't even addressing me. I'm surprised no one I've known has pulled a runner before with all the crap we have to deal with.

Damn it was a good weekend, wish it lasted longer.

Good weekend

So I ended up going to 종걱(jonggak) station to meet a friend. I had a feeling she wouldn't show up because I sent a text message to her earlier in the day but she never responded. I got there a bit early and walked around 인사동 (insadong) for a while. At 6:30 i went back to 종걱 to wait. At 6:45 I sent another text message but no response. I figured she wasn't going to come so I started back home. I was at 대방 (daebang) station when she finally called me. She apologized for not answering sooner and being late but it was no problem. So I went back to 종걱. We ate some food walked around, then had coffee. I regret not buying a video camera the previous day as I had some really good opportunities to shoot some video.

No random conversations this time as I came prepared with my MP3 player.

The random conversation strikes again

So I was on my way to 용산 (Yongsan) once again this time to possibly buy a PSP or a video camera. I really wasn't sure which when all of a sudden a man comes on the subway and bam as soon as he sees me the conversation begins.

"Where are you from?", he asks.
"America", I reply.
"Ah, are you a soldier?".
"No, I am a teacher".
"Oh very good an English teacher!", he says excitedly.

The subway car was packed so he pretty much knew there was no where I could run. He had me and a free English lesson and there was nothing I could do about it.

So we chatted for a bit while I waited to get off at my stop. He was a 60 year old business man, who has studied English for about 5 years. He was able to hold a basic conversation. There were two awkward moments, one when he wanted me to explain the meaning of "contents" and looked at me suspiciously when I tried to explain. The definition didn't make sense with some random comment he read by Allen Greenspan something like "the contents must be good for the future" or some such thing. The 2nd came when I told him how old I was. He kept saying ah 28 is a monkey! haha! I wasn't really sure how to respond to that one, but by now I'm used to things going a bit weird. Overall a nice conversation. Oh one more thing, and this is actually very cool. He asked me if I have a Korean girlfriend which I don't, and he told me I should find one. I was NOT expecting that from an old Korean man. Coming from a highly nationalistic and xenophobic society, I was pretty happy with that comment. That man was obviously well cultured.

Oh, I ended up not buying anything and I just wandered around for a while. Tomorrow I am going into Seoul to meet friend. If anything is blog worthy I shall post again tomorrow.

Filler post

Not much to say. Hung out around Suwon station with a friend last weekend, then we went to a park near my place. Funny thing is, I didn't even know this park existed, she noticed it on her way to Suwon station from the subway. I've gone by it many times and I never noticed it. This woman is the first Korean I can speak to at full speed and use my full range of vocabulary and she understood everything I said. Very refreshing.

Bye bye.

Ok, time to finish the story...

I've done enough teasing, it's time to finish the story.

Before I do, if you left a comment, I have replied so be sure to check the archives if yours is on a past post.

Alright, so where was I....oh yes...

After she had finished making her phone calls it got quiet again and I thought she had left. I tried to fall back asleep. Not long after however, I hear a hand drill being used. Oh crap I thought to myself, she called a locksmith. Worried that perhaps she had also called the police I kept my door shut and listened. The other english teacher who had been yelling at her became more worried and walked down the hall and started yelling at the locksmith to stop. The english teacher than announced she was going to get the security guard on the 1st floor and walked away. I decided this was getting way out of hand so I went back out of my room to see what was happening. When I opened my door I saw the ex-gf, but there was no locksmith. Apparently he went back to his truck to find something as he had left his tools by the door. I could already see the lock was completely ruined, there were metal shavings on the ground and black marks on the door where the ex had been kicking.


Yes, that brown grayish material is the metal shavings from the lock. The black marks on the door are a gift from the womans shoes.

Anyway, the locksmith came back and myself and the other teacher tried to tell him that the woman was crazy and she didn't live here, she was trying to break into her ex-bfs apartment. He ignored us and began to tear away at the lock again. The security guard finally came up to the 12th floor and started asking questions, we tried to explain to him what was happening but he didn't listen nor care. He stood there watching as this obviously drunk woman and her locksmith were breaking into my co-workers apartment. It was a very surreal moment, here I am standing watching this crazy woman break into an apartment she doesn't live in, while the security guard for the building is standing there watching. At this point it really hit me that one needs to be extra careful while in a foreign country. At this point they were making so much noise another teacher came out of her apartment to watch the spectacle as we continued to try to explain that this is wrong in broken english/korean. I didn't have my co-workers phone number so I wasn't able to call him. The building manager eventually came up to our floor to see what the noise was all about. At this point one of the other teachers decided to call a friend to translate for us to explain the situation. The building manager talked to her friend on the phone for a while, while I went to the 11th floor and got my other co-worker since he had this guys phone number. So my other co-worker comes upstairs with his girlfriend. Myself, my coworker/his gf, and two other english teachers are now talking loudly trying to sort out this mess outside this guys door while the locksmith is trying to open the door as fast as he can while the security guard and building manager just watch. No police have arrived at this point. I'm shocked the police weren't called an hour ago when this mess started, this isn't Kansas.

Finally the door opens and the ex-gf quickly enters his apartment while us westerns stand watching in shocked silence. Why didn't anyone listen to us and stop this mess? She went up into his loft looking for him, but he was no where to be found. She came back out of the apartment and talked for a bit with the building manager as he started to get angry at her. I think he was finally realizing what was happening. She looked at me and said "Kevin, I am sorry", my reply was "no f***ing s*** you're sorry", she then turns to my other co-worker and says "Jay, I am sorry, are you angry?", he nods his head "very angry". The building manager suddenly starts yelling at her very loudly, while the locksmith hurriedly tries to put on a new lock. When he finishes the building manager takes the key making sure the ex-gf does not stay in the apartment. The security guard then writes a note and puts it on the door, but it's in korean, Jay then writes a message in english so the guy can understand considering he can't read korean.




And then it's over, everyone walks away to sleep away the night and get ready for another crazy week in the Land of the Morning Calm.

What are my personal thoughts on the matter? For one it's obvious to me that our rights in this country are vastly different from our home countries, and when there is a conflict between a korean/westerner our chances of winning are slim. Based on conversations I've had with my co-worker since the incident I have a feeling he was hiding in the apartment the entire time, he said things to me he would not have known unless he had been in his room. I haven't confronted him about the matter as I think it would really embarrass him if I told him I thought he was there the entire time. I also heard someone moving around in his apartment shortly after everyone left.

A week later...the guy and his ex-gf? They are back together, sigh.

Co-worker's crazy ex-girlfriend Part I

I've decided to share one of the many interesting stories I usually don't share. This one is just too crazy to not write about, and too fresh in my mind...

So, last night I was trying to fall asleep when I hear my co-worker/neighbor's ex-gf knocking on his door. It started out as a normal knock but soon became more frantic when nobody answered the door. Within minutes the knocking had turned into full blown kicking as she slammed her foot against the door as loud as she could while yelling in broken English "Please open the door!". This had happened once before but he was home and soon opened the door as he did not want to cause a big scene. Anyway, this literally went on for a good 10 minutes before the ex-gf realized I am right next door and started banging on my door yelling in broken English "Kevin please open the door!". I didn't answer the door as being stabbed by a vengeful ex-gf of a co-worker is usually not good for ones health. After another couple of minutes beating on my door, she went back to his door and continued the yelling and kicking. Eventually another English teacher opened their door and asked her to stop, it was pretty late at night after all. The crazy ex didn't listen and continued her assault. I hear more doors open and Koreans yelling at her to stop, but she just yells back at them and continues. Finally after a good 25 minutes (literally) I gave in and opened my door. I told her to "please stop kicking the door" in Korean which took her by surprise. She then asked me where her ex-bf was and I told her I don't know. I could smell the alcohol on her breath and realized she was very drunk. She then took my arm and tried to drag me into MY room asking me to "drink" with her. Realizing being alone with this woman could potentially be very dangerous I told her to get her hands off me and leave the building. She refused and continued to kick his door as hard as she could. At this point I didn't know what to do. I stood there for another couple of minutes while another English teacher yelled at her from down the hall to be quiet. Deciding that my presence is not helping the situation I go back into my room. She continues the kicking, as more and more Koreans, and Westerners open their doors and yell at her to stop. Forty-five minutes after she began she finally got tired and changed her tactics. Instead of trying to kick down the door she began to cry..."I love you, please open the door", over and over she sobbed. Her tears turned to anger and I heard her muttering quietly to herself "I will kill him" and "He will die". Finally things got quiet as she tried another tactic, she stopped making noise and waited. Eventually I thought she had left when all of a sudden I heard her making phone calls.

I could only understand bits and pieces of what she was saying on the phone but I knew this was going to get ugly. At this point I was starting to get a really bad feeling, the kind you get when when you're driving in your car and realize you are about to get in an accident and there is nothing you can do.

Part II with 2 or 3 pictures coming soon...

The evil stare

Whenever I'm out and about with a Korean woman it's a given that she will get the nastiest evil stares from other women. Just yesterday I was at Dunkin Donuts with Sun and this girl was just giving her the most evil stare I've ever seen. Sun says it doesn't bother her, thankfully. I've gotten a couple evil stares from western girls myself. The funny thing is there is nothing going on between us, just simple friendship. What is it about a white guy and an Asian girl that makes other women so upset?

Come to think of it, what is it about this place that makes everyone so jealous about everything? It's really bizarre.

Random people keep talking to me

So I was sitting in a local pizza joint waiting for my pizza when a middle aged Korean man started a conversation with me. He started off by asking how long I had been in Korea, then proceeded to ask where I have been in Korea, then asked what I did for a living, where I lived and how much money I made, etc. People keep asking me that, how much money I make. It's not a lot of money, it's comfortable living though. One thing you'll need to get used too if you move here is the minor celebrity status you'll have. All kinds of people will try to talk to you. It doesn't matter if you have your headphones on and can't hear them, if you are busy talking to someone else or if you are eating your dinner. Just about everyday when I'm walking around someone will inevitably try to start a conversation. Sometimes I welcome it, especially when its a beautiful woman. Sometimes it's annoying, especially when I'm exercising.

Now, what REALLY pisses me off is when a woman will pretend to like you so that she can get a free English lesson. This has happened to me more than once, and it often leaves me confused. If you want to learn English keep your hands to yourself, don't keep rubbing against me, and don't invite me on vacations with you so that you can practice your English, ok? I have no problem teaching you English, heck I'll do it for free, but damn it don't lead me to believe you actually want something meaningful.

Anyway,

I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you want to come here there are certain things you need to think about before hand. First of all, do your research. Read forums, blogs and anything else you can think of about the country/countries you are interested in. Read a bit about the history, culture and language, this should help minimize the culture shock. Second, don't come here for a single reason. Let's say you can't find a job in your own country, if that's the case you have things you need to work on before you come over here. You should have at least three reasons/interests for coming to this country. Third, you need to be able to handle isolation. It is quite possible you will end up in a place with few foreigners and locals who are afraid of foreigners. Finally, and quite possibly most important, you need to be adaptable.

Today was first day with no jacket in months

It felt so nice not to wear a jacket today. It was nice, warm and sunny just the way I like it. I had to wear a sweater but no heavy jacket today. I made my way to Suwon Station to shop at the book store, they have a small selection of English books (about 1 or 2 shelves). I picked up a copy of A Storm of Swords, the next book in the series I'm reading. I'm finally starting to get back into reading after college and work completely destroyed my attention span. In college everyday I had to worry about a test or paper or some homework or something. So whenever I tried to relax and read or play a computer game I would always have a nagging thought in my mind and I would try to remember if I had anything I needed to do. That has stayed with me since college, and it got worse in the sea of cubicles at my old company. I've been trying very hard to get rid of it and I think it might be working. Now if only I can convince myself to study Korean every day, I may actually learn the damn language. I've had so many people tell me out of the three major languages of this area, Japanese, Chinese, and Korean, Korean is the most difficult for native English speakers to learn. I'm starting to believe them, there are sounds in the language that I can barely hear, but to Koreans the sounds are completely different. The only good thing is that it is by far the easiest language to learn how to read. I can read Korean very well (sound out the words), but most of the time I don't know what the words mean since my vocabulary is very small.

Anyway,

I decided to turn my comments back on. I'm moderating the comments for now.

A.T. (in da house), got your message. Hope things work out for you at the old job, hang in there. I know you are interested in ESL teaching but not in asia. After you do research, if you decide you want to come here let me know and I'll hook you up. Remember, do your freakin research before you take the plunge.

Josh (aka Pvt. Fatbody) you're a punk, have fun with your last days. I still say you should take 6 months off and get your fill of WoW and AoM.

Buying clothes that fit

One thing I really like about buying clothes here is that I can easily find clothes that fit. I am very thin, and whenever I go shopping in America I usually find a small selection of clothes that aren't large, extra large, or extra extra large. I feel bad for people who come here and are normal size by western standards (large), they usually have a tough time finding clothes that fit. Thankfully, I don't.

This post could easily turn into a very long post about the pressures Korean women face about their weight. I feel so bad for some of my friends here who are extremely thin but think they need to lose weight. I however, shall not post about that today.