Co-worker's crazy ex-girlfriend Part I

I've decided to share one of the many interesting stories I usually don't share. This one is just too crazy to not write about, and too fresh in my mind...

So, last night I was trying to fall asleep when I hear my co-worker/neighbor's ex-gf knocking on his door. It started out as a normal knock but soon became more frantic when nobody answered the door. Within minutes the knocking had turned into full blown kicking as she slammed her foot against the door as loud as she could while yelling in broken English "Please open the door!". This had happened once before but he was home and soon opened the door as he did not want to cause a big scene. Anyway, this literally went on for a good 10 minutes before the ex-gf realized I am right next door and started banging on my door yelling in broken English "Kevin please open the door!". I didn't answer the door as being stabbed by a vengeful ex-gf of a co-worker is usually not good for ones health. After another couple of minutes beating on my door, she went back to his door and continued the yelling and kicking. Eventually another English teacher opened their door and asked her to stop, it was pretty late at night after all. The crazy ex didn't listen and continued her assault. I hear more doors open and Koreans yelling at her to stop, but she just yells back at them and continues. Finally after a good 25 minutes (literally) I gave in and opened my door. I told her to "please stop kicking the door" in Korean which took her by surprise. She then asked me where her ex-bf was and I told her I don't know. I could smell the alcohol on her breath and realized she was very drunk. She then took my arm and tried to drag me into MY room asking me to "drink" with her. Realizing being alone with this woman could potentially be very dangerous I told her to get her hands off me and leave the building. She refused and continued to kick his door as hard as she could. At this point I didn't know what to do. I stood there for another couple of minutes while another English teacher yelled at her from down the hall to be quiet. Deciding that my presence is not helping the situation I go back into my room. She continues the kicking, as more and more Koreans, and Westerners open their doors and yell at her to stop. Forty-five minutes after she began she finally got tired and changed her tactics. Instead of trying to kick down the door she began to cry..."I love you, please open the door", over and over she sobbed. Her tears turned to anger and I heard her muttering quietly to herself "I will kill him" and "He will die". Finally things got quiet as she tried another tactic, she stopped making noise and waited. Eventually I thought she had left when all of a sudden I heard her making phone calls.

I could only understand bits and pieces of what she was saying on the phone but I knew this was going to get ugly. At this point I was starting to get a really bad feeling, the kind you get when when you're driving in your car and realize you are about to get in an accident and there is nothing you can do.

Part II with 2 or 3 pictures coming soon...

The evil stare

Whenever I'm out and about with a Korean woman it's a given that she will get the nastiest evil stares from other women. Just yesterday I was at Dunkin Donuts with Sun and this girl was just giving her the most evil stare I've ever seen. Sun says it doesn't bother her, thankfully. I've gotten a couple evil stares from western girls myself. The funny thing is there is nothing going on between us, just simple friendship. What is it about a white guy and an Asian girl that makes other women so upset?

Come to think of it, what is it about this place that makes everyone so jealous about everything? It's really bizarre.

Random people keep talking to me

So I was sitting in a local pizza joint waiting for my pizza when a middle aged Korean man started a conversation with me. He started off by asking how long I had been in Korea, then proceeded to ask where I have been in Korea, then asked what I did for a living, where I lived and how much money I made, etc. People keep asking me that, how much money I make. It's not a lot of money, it's comfortable living though. One thing you'll need to get used too if you move here is the minor celebrity status you'll have. All kinds of people will try to talk to you. It doesn't matter if you have your headphones on and can't hear them, if you are busy talking to someone else or if you are eating your dinner. Just about everyday when I'm walking around someone will inevitably try to start a conversation. Sometimes I welcome it, especially when its a beautiful woman. Sometimes it's annoying, especially when I'm exercising.

Now, what REALLY pisses me off is when a woman will pretend to like you so that she can get a free English lesson. This has happened to me more than once, and it often leaves me confused. If you want to learn English keep your hands to yourself, don't keep rubbing against me, and don't invite me on vacations with you so that you can practice your English, ok? I have no problem teaching you English, heck I'll do it for free, but damn it don't lead me to believe you actually want something meaningful.

Anyway,

I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you want to come here there are certain things you need to think about before hand. First of all, do your research. Read forums, blogs and anything else you can think of about the country/countries you are interested in. Read a bit about the history, culture and language, this should help minimize the culture shock. Second, don't come here for a single reason. Let's say you can't find a job in your own country, if that's the case you have things you need to work on before you come over here. You should have at least three reasons/interests for coming to this country. Third, you need to be able to handle isolation. It is quite possible you will end up in a place with few foreigners and locals who are afraid of foreigners. Finally, and quite possibly most important, you need to be adaptable.

Today was first day with no jacket in months

It felt so nice not to wear a jacket today. It was nice, warm and sunny just the way I like it. I had to wear a sweater but no heavy jacket today. I made my way to Suwon Station to shop at the book store, they have a small selection of English books (about 1 or 2 shelves). I picked up a copy of A Storm of Swords, the next book in the series I'm reading. I'm finally starting to get back into reading after college and work completely destroyed my attention span. In college everyday I had to worry about a test or paper or some homework or something. So whenever I tried to relax and read or play a computer game I would always have a nagging thought in my mind and I would try to remember if I had anything I needed to do. That has stayed with me since college, and it got worse in the sea of cubicles at my old company. I've been trying very hard to get rid of it and I think it might be working. Now if only I can convince myself to study Korean every day, I may actually learn the damn language. I've had so many people tell me out of the three major languages of this area, Japanese, Chinese, and Korean, Korean is the most difficult for native English speakers to learn. I'm starting to believe them, there are sounds in the language that I can barely hear, but to Koreans the sounds are completely different. The only good thing is that it is by far the easiest language to learn how to read. I can read Korean very well (sound out the words), but most of the time I don't know what the words mean since my vocabulary is very small.

Anyway,

I decided to turn my comments back on. I'm moderating the comments for now.

A.T. (in da house), got your message. Hope things work out for you at the old job, hang in there. I know you are interested in ESL teaching but not in asia. After you do research, if you decide you want to come here let me know and I'll hook you up. Remember, do your freakin research before you take the plunge.

Josh (aka Pvt. Fatbody) you're a punk, have fun with your last days. I still say you should take 6 months off and get your fill of WoW and AoM.

Buying clothes that fit

One thing I really like about buying clothes here is that I can easily find clothes that fit. I am very thin, and whenever I go shopping in America I usually find a small selection of clothes that aren't large, extra large, or extra extra large. I feel bad for people who come here and are normal size by western standards (large), they usually have a tough time finding clothes that fit. Thankfully, I don't.

This post could easily turn into a very long post about the pressures Korean women face about their weight. I feel so bad for some of my friends here who are extremely thin but think they need to lose weight. I however, shall not post about that today.

No more short days

No more 3 hour work days. I'm back up to 5 hours a day now. I guess I shouldn't be complaining too much but I do miss those short days. One of my friends at work found another job but he forgot to tell me. I knew he was looking but he didn't tell me until after he left. Kind of sucks but these things happen.

It got cold all of a sudden these past couple of days, there is a saying here for it "Winter hates Spring flowers". Well...I hate Winter.

Anyway, gotta go meet a friend for lunch.

No title

Haven't had much motivation to write lately, just been enjoying my time. I'm sooo glad winter is pretty much over as the cold weather has been such a drag. The winter here is too cold and too long. I used to love cold weather when I lived in Chicago but now I hate it.

Work is going fine, but I'm looking forward to finishing my contract and finding another job. I'm tired of living in Suwon, I'd rather live in Seoul. Suwon is a mid-sized city but with Seoul so close there really isn't much to do here. A lot of the foreigners who live in my building will be leaving soon. With schools having a hard time attracting new teachers it might be a while before I see some new faces. I don't mind though, I didn't move to Korea to live in a college dorm anyway.

Well, that's it for now.

Don't really feel like posting

I don't really feel like posting much these days. Now that I'm living here I'm also not really following many blogs from ESL teachers. I guess it's time for another break.

My posting style has changed lately, it's become more personal and not about activities or culture. It's also become much more negative. Just keep in mind that 95% of the things I experience over here do not end up on this blog, especially the good things. As much as I rant on here sometimes, I'm generally not a negative person.

Anyway, break time.

Oh the stories I could tell

Some of the people who come here are just plain weird. I've hinted at it before but never really written about it. The stories I could tell about these people would probably not be believed anyway, so I will give you the watered down versions. On the surface these people are actually very nice, and that's really all you need to function here in Korea, after all Koreans don't really know how we're supposed to act anyway. Get under the surface and you're opening up a whole can of worms.

Some of the people I've met...

This particular person is extremely friendly, and I generally like him. Some of the strange conversations he's had with me and other people include: instead of teaching people English we should hire dolphins and teach people to speak dolphin. His solution to make the world a better place includes getting a machine gun and killing the bad people? I'm not sure how he came about that brilliant plan.

The next person will do anything, and I mean anything if someone challenges him to do it. I won't go into the details but he told me a story that would make your teeth hurt if I told you. He is incapable of standing up to peer pressure and will literally risk his life because of peer pressure. Oh, and he's obsessed with his height. He's stopped talking about it recently but he used to always complain that everyone here is taller than him. Oh, he used to complain about fat chicks with the guy I'm going to talk about next, until he got a girlfriend who is on the heavy side.

The next guy is probably the biggest misogynist I have ever met. I have NEVER had a single conversation with him where he did not bring up his favorite topic "fat chicks". The only time he stops talking about it is when a girl he is interested in enters within earshot. He's incapable of looking me in the eye for some reason, every time I talk to him he has to look away from me. He's never said a single nice thing about anyone here. Oh, and he loves to complain about his roommate. It's kinda funny though, if you're a male in your 20s and you come here agreeing to have a roommate, you are an idiot.

This last one is a girl. First time I met her she told me not to crack my knuckles because it would cause arthritis. I told her that was just a myth and she freaked out...here are some of my favorite quotes from that conversation. "I'm a scientist I majored in biochemistry". "Go ahead and challenge me I used to work in a lab". "Every time you crack your knuckles a little bit of liquid escapes from your bones and thats what causes arthritis". Needless to say she has some serious issues.

These are just a couple of the foreigners I have to deal with. My Korean friends are always wondering why I enjoying spending time with them and not the foreigners. I just tell them they are younger than me, or they always want to go out drinking and I don't. I don't tell them the real reasons...I'm too embarrassed.

Blah

I knew it would happen sooner or later, and I knew it would happen around the four month mark. The newness is completely gone and now things are starting to get on my nerves. I am no longer living in paradise. As much as I love the complexities of Korean culture, sometimes things just really confuse or piss me off. I even briefly entertained the notion of moving to another country to teach. Then again I must remember that I am currently in the "everything is awful" phase of culture shock. One thing I am quickly learning is that during these first couple of months everything is either really good or really bad. There seems to be a very small middle ground. Some days are the best in my life, some days are completely terrible. These mood swings are very annoying as I am used to a secure and stable life in America.

It's odd though, even as bad as things can get, my life is still much better than the secure and stable one I lived in America. As long as I am able to put things into perspective then I should be fine. Writing helps to organize my thoughts. When I started this blog entry I was pretty depressed over recent events, but I feel much better about things now. I have only been here four months and I must remember two things: culture shock, and I will stumble along the way. I will make mistakes but I will always pick myself back up and turn things around.

You might be wondering what brought this on. It's just a combination of things, women problems, culture shock, and minor work problems are the main things. I am learning so much though, all these problems are worth it.

One very important lesson I have learned is about expectations. Don't have expectations, they only get in the way. Enjoy something for what it is, not what it could be.

SeoulGlow

Oh by the way I'm really enjoying this SeoulGlow Video podcast thing. Very professional and interesting. The second episode is out, talks about street food. Anyway, go and watch it... SeoulGlow

Just stuff

For todays post readers I will just talk about random things in no particular order.

This evening I've been thinking a great deal about the movie "Office Space" and about my life this past year. When I first watched the movie Office Space I really didn't enjoy it much. It wasn't very funny, frankly it was boring. I was still in college at this point and hadn't really worked in a big office environment yet. I really didn't appreciate the beauty of the movie. Fast forward a couple of years and now its one of my favorite movies of all time. If you haven't watched it I really recommend it. When people ask me why did I come here, I usually ask them if they have watched the movie Office Space. That movie was my life before coming here. The main character hates his job, his girlfriend is psycho (broke up with mine about a year before coming here) anyway to make a long story short the main character learns not to care about his crappy life and just enjoy it, eventually he follows his dream and ends up as a construction worker but the point is, he's happy. The movie is full of quotes I think about often, here are a few of my favorite:

Peter Gibbons: The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
Bob Porter: Don't... don't care?
Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime; so where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob: I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Slydell: I beg your pardon?
Peter Gibbons: Eight bosses.
Bob Slydell: Eight?
Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled; that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well, the type of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Lawrence: Well, what about you now? what would you do?
Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well, yeah.
Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
Peter Gibbons: I would relax... I would sit on my ass all day... I would do nothing.
Lawrence: Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my cousin: he's broke, don't do shit.

Bob Slydell: You see, what we're actually trying to do here is, we're trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work... so, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh heh - and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.

Michael Bolton: Peter, you're in deep shit. You were supposed to come in on Saturday. What were you doing?
Peter Gibbons: Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be.

Anyway, now that I've posted half the movie's dialogue go and watch it.

This brings me to another topic. Last Friday I went out for drinks and food with my friends Sun and this other Korean I work with. Anyway the three of us are almost the same age, and we all have similar personalities. We're also at the same points in our life and each of us has been thinking a great deal about our futures lately. My Korean friend has been wondering what he's going to do about his job, if he wants to get married, where he will live. Sun has been very worried lately that she will end up an old unmarried woman, shes 27 western age (29) Korean and has been under a great deal of pressure from her family to get married soon. I'm also wondering about my future but in a different way. The 3 of us were a bit gloomy when we were talking about our futures but when it was my turn I decided to try to cheer everyone up. I just came right out and said "I have no idea what my future holds and thats exactly how I like it". I proceed to tell them I treat my life like an adventure, if I'm unhappy with something in my life I think about it, then I change it. I hated my life in America, so I came halfway around the world to start a new one. I told them I don't care when I get married or what country I live in. I could leave for Japan in one year, end up living in Korea for ten, move to china, or go back home. I have no idea and that makes me happy. I haven't planned out my life. I try to leave every door open that I can and when the time comes I just pick one and end up some place new.

Anyway, that's it for now, later!

SeoulGlow #1 -- Resolutions/결심

New video podcast, hopefully the quality will not diminish. The intro is a little annoying but just plug your ears until its over.

Always keep your options open

One thing I'm quickly learning (and shocked I haven't learned until now) is always keep your options open for as long as you can. You focus on one thing and close the door on other things and you may not get a second chance. Do not close the other doors until you are absolutely sure you have whatever it is you want.

I work 4 hours a day

I can't help but marvel at the number of hours I work. I teach 4 classes a day, thats it. They are 40 minutes each, so technically I work less than 4 hours a day but add a little prep time and it evens out. I used to work 6 hrs a day but we got a new teacher. His name is Anthony, and so far he seems very normal. It might have to do with the fact that he is in his 40s or 50s. Apparently he also has a Ph.D. in something, but I haven't asked what his doctorate is in yet.

He moved into the officetel next to mine and a couple of weeks ago he knocked on my door with a picture of a Korean woman in hand. He asked if I thought the woman was pretty, and she was. Curious I asked him why are you asking (with thoughts of maybe he isn't so normal after all dancing in my head), oh because my Korean girlfriend is looking for someone to introduce her to and she picked you. I declined because I was seeing Sun at the time. This past Saturday Sun and I had a conversation, at the end of which we agreed to remain friends but go no further. So, with that confusion cleared up I asked Anthony to introduce me to his girlfriend's friend. There is no set date but the next opportunity he gets I will meet her.

It seems everyone has a girl they want me to meet.

Pictures and things

This past Saturday I went to Seoul with my friend Sun (nickname of the girl I'm interested in) to dance at a Salsa bar. Dancing is something I've always wanted to try but never had the courage to do. I'm glad she invited me so I can actually learn how to dance. Right now I'm learning Salsa dance. Sun's favorite type of dance is Jazz, and she is really good too. I met her brother and two of her friends. They don't speak English well but we still managed to communicate. Sun is starting to encourage me to study Korean more and more these days. I promised her I would start studying 1 hour every day.

I keep telling myself that I'm not one of those gifted people who can pickup languages easily. But I've been thinking about that all day today. What it really comes down to is desire. I remember in high school I didn't do very well at all. I hated high school and never put any effort into it. When I started going to college I was always wondering if I was as smart as everyone else, after all I did terrible in high school. I used those thoughts as motivation to study and learn as much as I could. It worked and I ended up leaving community college with honors, and almost graduating with honors for my bachelor's degree. The reason my GPA slipped wasn't because the material was more difficult, I had just lost my desire. By then I knew I was just as smart as anyone else and the desire to prove it to myself went away. Well I think I might be in the same situation now with the Korean language. All I need is the motivation to study hard and I know I can master the language. The good news is that I now have that motivation, my friend Sun.

Here are some winter pictures from the area I live in taken last month.

Lazy

Considering I'm too lazy...I mean busy to update my blog, go read this one instead.

Caught and confronted...

During my last class on Friday the students were busy working on a short speech I asked them to prepare. All of a sudden one of my middle school students asks me if I know Randy teacher. No, I told him. He left before I came here. Another student asked me if I knew Tim teacher. Nope he left before I got here too. From behind me I hear one of my middle school girls ask, Kevin teacher do you know (name of female teacher I'm dating)? I turn around quickly and search for something to say...Why, I asked. Because I saw you two eating lunch together last week, was it a date? No I told her. Then why wasn't S. teacher with you (Canadian teacher)? I don't answer the second question and walk back to the podium to pretend I'm busy. I look up from the podium and notice all the students are staring at me. Your face is red a student says. I quickly blurt out that she just wants to practice her English. Lies, another middle school girl shoots back. Go back to work I tell my students. I look back at my book on the podium and hear another voice softly say "but (blank) teacher is ugly."

Sigh.

Best date of my life

Here we go with the personal crap again, anyway...

I'm having trouble falling asleep tonight. The problem is that today I had the best date of my entire life. Yesterday I made plans to meet with my Korean female friend (notice I didn't use the words Korean girlfriend), it was planned as a group date. She is still very shy about her English so I always make sure to bring a Korean friend along to make her feel more comfortable. Last night I asked my best Korean friend to come hang out with us and he said he would, the 3 of us were to meet in the lobby of my building at 1:30pm (we all work in this building, but I'm the only one who lives in this building). Anyway, this afternoon I went down to the lobby to wait for my friends. I met the girl I'm dating, but my other friend curiously didn't show up. We tried calling him but he didn't answer. I had a feeling this would happen sooner or later. See, he's been acting as the go between for us. He speaks good English and Korean, so we rely on him to communicate sometimes. But I had a feeling he wanted to start cutting the bond, and I'm so glad he did.

After about 5 minutes of waiting we decided to go grab some food. We went to this place known as "the crazy ladies restaurant" (don't ask). Anyway, we sit down by the window and she looks at me and says "uh oh", I ask what's wrong? The sun is in your eyes she tells me. I tear my eyes away from her beauty and notice that the sun is in my eyes. The sun is not only in my eyes but I'm actually squinting quite a bit. I didn't even notice I was so focused on her. We moved to another seat with less sunlight and she asks me if I can read the menu. I tried to impress her with my Korean reading ability but I was so nervous all I could read was the order of "mandu". Anyway, we had such a great time, she was trying so hard to practice her English. We even practiced my Korean a little bit. She was so happy that I could tell her the days of the week in Korean. She taught me that in Korea the first meal of the day usually consists of rice (I had ordered noodles). She then went on to tell me she wants to teach me so much but her English just isn't good enough. We made plans to study English and Korean together soon. After eating we went to dunkin donuts for coffee and donuts. We had so much fun, it was almost time for us to go back to work but she confessed she didn't want to go back to work. As we were walking back we ran into another teacher in our school which made for an awkward situation. Koreans are very conservative on the outside, and it was a little embarrassing for another teacher to see us together. I didn't really care but I could tell she was embarrassed because she got shy again.

This was by far the best date I've ever had. Our conversation was limited, but the substance of the date was humongous. She's such a generous and kind person. I did my absolute best to return the kindness and generosity. I hope I succeeded.

Free Hugs in KOREA

Couple months ago while I was in insadong I came across the free hug movement, here is a video about it.